Life As Wife of Lagos Speaker

-Mayowa Ikuforiji

Mrs. Mayowa Ikuforiji is a pastor, while her husband, Speaker of the Lagos State House of Assembly, Rt. Hon. Adeyemi Sabit Ikuforiji is a staunch Muslim. But, this has never affected their marriage, and 30 years down the line, the couple is still waxing stronger.

One other thing is that Mrs. Ikuforiji is used to the scandals written by her husband, and she believes so much that the number three citizen of Lagos State is a loving husband, who is living up to expectation as a responsible husband and father.

In this interview, Mrs. Ikuforiji speaks on being the wife of the speaker, her growing up years, what women should do about bringing up their children amongst other matters of interest.

Your husband is a politician and the number three man in Lagos State, what have been your challenges as his wife?

I don’t see any challenges in this; it is only that he does not have much time for the family. That has been the challenge because he is very hard working; he has been doing his job well. Most of the time I have to call him on the phone that we need to discuss, even in the midnight he receives calls, so I switch off his phones sometimes.

Has there been anytime that you feel the whole thing is becoming too much that you could not cope?

As a human being, there are times that I felt that he is too busy, but as a Christian I believe that whatever you find yourself doing, do it well and I should not stand as an obstacle to that. I should understand that he is on an assignment that God has given to him, so I should support him so that he doesn’t fail.

Most times, people believe that women control men, to what extent do you influence his decisions as the Speaker of the House?

The position of the Speaker is not an executive position, it is a position that any of the lawmakers could occupy, he is just first amongst equals. I realized early that I am not superior to the wife of any other lawmaker in the assembly and my husband is not superior to any of the lawmakers. It is just that there must be a leader and God has put him there and others have graciously given him the position to be the leader. I respect them a lot, though I am older than most of them, I give them their due respect. Most of them are my personal friends; I am closer to some of them even more than their wives.

So, what is the relationship between you and their wives?

Yes, we have the Lagos State Legislators Wives Association (LASLEWA), there are all my sisters, sometimes, I am closer to some lawmakers, who see me as their elder sister and I see them as my brothers, even at that, they respect me, and I respect them back.

What is the motive behind the formation of LASLEWA?

Actually, LASLEWA has been there, I met it on ground; it was started by the wife of the former speaker, Rt. Hon. Olorunimbe Mamora, so I just believe that we should gather once in a while and pray for our husbands that God should guide them. Also, we do some teachings about house keeping, proper etiquette and all that; we have doctors, lawyers, engineers in our midst. So, it is a social avenue, I always know if any of them is troubled. I have a way of finding out and I try to come in to solve the problem.

You are a pastor and your husband is a Muslim, has it always been like that. If it has always been like that, how do you cope and how do you strike a balance?

So many people have asked me this question, I come from a Christian home, my father was an elder in the Christ Apostolic Church (CAC) and my mother is also a Christian. I married my husband as a Muslim, but he studied abroad and he has a wider outlook of what is going on. So, I didn’t see him as a fanatic, my father actually asked me a question and gave me six months to go and think about it. He said, ‘why do you want to marry a Muslim?’ After six months, I went back to him, he gave me an important point that; ‘you cannot divorce him, when you marry him. Whatever you see in marrying a Muslim, you are a Christian, you should think over it.’ But, I thank God, 30 years after we got married; I have no cause for regret. Whatever happened has never been because he is a Muslim, it can happen anywhere, no marriage is extremely perfect. We have had our ups and down, but God has helped us. I believe sincerely that there is no difference between Islam and Christianity, Islam preaches ‘don’t commit adultery,’ Christianity preaches the same thing. Be nice to people, be a giver and all that, all these are the same in the two religions. Anyone that goes outside the Quran to do some other thing is on his own, I have had the opportunity to read the Quran, there was a time I had a Muslim scholar coming to teach me. I have the opportunity to know how to pray in the Muslim way and say most of the things they say. My husband is being influenced by his orientation as someone, who studied abroad. So, he is not being influenced by the fact that he is a Muslim or something like that. Initially, he wanted me to be a Muslim; probably I would have joined him. But, there was a period in my life, when I was very ill, though everything seemed okay, but within me I knew I was not okay. That was around 1998 during the first Holy Ghost Congress of the Redeemed Christian Church of God tagged Lekki 1998 with the theme; ‘Divine Visitation.’ I was actually visited by God, I went with my daughter, and actually it took us hours to get there. I then said; ‘God, you have to heal me here today, if you cannot heal me, I want to die here,’ this was what I said and since then, I have never been admitted in the hospital since that time. I put a caveat there that ‘if you heal me, I am going to serve you as a Christian till I die.’ It is like I made a vow to God, there is no way I can go back. You have to fulfill the vow. It is not that I really don’t want to be a Muslim; I would have worshipped God the Muslim way. I believe that the sickness came because God wanted me to serve Him in the Christian way. My husband understands that, so he doesn’t bother me.

But one wonders if your children are Muslims or Christians…

Everybody wonders they are all grown up now; I have not really forced my religion on them. My husband actually wants them to be Muslims, I think the boy is more inclined towards Islam, he takes him to Saudi Arabia for Umrah regularly, may be the girls are Christians. There was a period they were going to NASFAT, but they are up to marriageable ages now, but as girls they might probably take to the religion of their husbands.

As a pastor, what do you think are the most fundamental issues a woman should look at in getting married?

The most important thing a woman should look at is ‘does this man have the fear of God’ because if you have the fear of God, there are certain things you would not do whether you are a Muslim or Christian. If you marry a man who can do anything, you are in for it. But if you marry a man who fears God, then all would be okay. Really, in the South West in Nigeria, we don’t have problems with Muslims marrying Christians or vice versa because in most families, you have Muslims and Christians. In my mother’s family, my uncles are Muslims and the women are Christians. It is like that almost everywhere, so that one is not a problem. The first thing you look out for is if the man is God fearing. He should not see himself as superior. I have not said everything has been rosy, but apart from God, my mother-in-law was another factor, she was very close to me before she died. The first thing she gave me, when I married her son was a seat; she said that the seat meant I would be with her son forever. As if she knew she was passing on, she said, ‘whatever my son does to you, please, don’t leave him.’ I had to give her my word that I would never leave him for any reason. So, whenever there was any storm, I would remember the words of the old woman and endure, the woman was a very prayerful Muslim.

You are educated, how do you see the belief that women should stay home at the early stage of their marriage. What would you say to a woman that is newly married concerning working?

I am old fashioned; I know that things have changed now. When I wanted to go to the university, I wanted to read law, I had an uncle, who was a professor at the Obafemi Awolowo University, then University of Ife in Osun State. He told me not do law, I was just 16 years old, when I got to the university, he said I should fill English Education that I should be a teacher because my mother is a teacher. The only reason he gave was that I could have time for my children, yet, in Part 2, I still wanted to study law, but he said no. Really, it helped me because when my children were younger, I had time for them, I would drop them in the school in the morning and when they close, I would go and pick them. Today, how many people don’t have time for their children because a woman would want to be a banker even, while having children. You leave your children in the hands of housemaids; you don’t know what those maids do to them, which is the problem we have today. When I read about what children do, I wonder, I think mothers should think about it, it is not about money, it is about God and the sacrifices we make. I don’t know how as a mother, you go out in the morning before the children wake up and you come back, when they have slept. But, I think it is only like that in Lagos, if you go to other states it is not like that. You allow the children to do whatever they like all because you want to make money. It is really bad, you see a lot of children, they think they can determine what they want. You dare not do that, when we were young. I remember when two of my children were in one school then and I went for a meeting of the Parents Teachers Association and some parents were warning the teachers not to touch their children. One parent even said that her child didn’t like a particular teacher that the teacher looked somehow, I was surprised to hear this. When we were younger, our teachers used to beat us and our mothers never went there to fight because most of the time, we behaved well because we didn’t want to be disciplined. That was the last time I went to the PTA of that school. My son was in Year 10 and after the meeting I went to the principal, I told her ‘I have two children here, I want them to be disciplined if they committed any offence.’ They said I should sign and I did. I was a teacher in two secondary schools for 15 years and I used to beat my students if they err. I said I wanted my children to be disciplined, one day, my son did something wrong in school, he couldn’t tell me, he sent another parent to beg me on his behalf. I told my son that if he did anything wrong and they report him to me; I would come to his school and beat him in his classroom in front of his friends. Eventually, my son became the head boy of the school before he graduated and went to the university. You need to know what your children do; most parents leave their children in the hands of houseboys, who abuse the girls. Most of these men that stay with people abuse the girls sexually.

Someone blame young mothers for some of these things, at what point would you say there was disconnect between the old and young generation of mothers?

I think the advent of these social media brought about the whole thing; this caused a lot of problems. You cannot really censor what your child comes across in the computer; they go to some satanic sites that influence them. You don’t have time to check to catch them unaware, most people think it is sophistication and modernization, they allow their children to do whatever they like. They want to copy what they do in the western world. I wonder how a son could kill his father and cut him into pieces, may be he was on drug, who knows the demon that was troubling him. The man must have prayed for him, but if the foundation is faulty what would the righteous do. It could have been from his foundation, probably the father was busy and the mother too was busy. There are so many things we really need to do because once the foundation is faulty it would be difficult. Children learn what they read, we learnt that the father woke him to come and pray and that was all, he killed the man and cut him into pieces.

So, what do you think is the solution to all of these?

Mothers are the ones that mould the children, in those days, women were not working. The whole nation should rise up, we have to start organizing talk shows and ask the young mothers to tell us how they were trained by their own mothers, and how they are training their own children. You see some children talking to their parents anyhow; you dare not do that in our time. My mother was a teacher, if you offend her; she would not beat you immediately so that people would not start begging on your behalf. Once we offend her, we would start crying because she would wake you up in the night and start telling you your offences. She would tell you the things you did wrong and counsel you before beating you at that odd hour, when nobody would beg for you. If she gives me a pencil, I had to show her the remnant before she could give me a new one, same goes for biro. That is what I also do for my children; they must take permission before they take anything in the house. If I am abroad, they would call me that they wanted to take something in the house before they would do so, and everybody is shocked, but they are used to that, they do it even before they take anything from the fridge.

Has your husband always been in politics and if you didn’t meet him as a politician, did you advise him against joining politics?

I didn’t marry him as a politician and I never told him not to do politics, I saw his plan to join politics as a way of serving the nation, I never looked at the bad side at all. I felt it was a better way of serving the nation, may be if I had discouraged him he wouldn’t have joined politics. Of course, he told me he wanted to go to the state house of assembly and become the speaker, but I didn’t really know what being speaker was. I just felt he was going to politics, become the speaker and be the head of the legislature. Along the line, I discovered that it is not easy to be a politician; my female children said that their husbands would sign an undertaking that they would never be politicians because of all the scandals the press write about their father. It is not easy when you read unsavoury things about your father in the newspapers and you know that they are not true. I am immune to that; there was a journalist who wrote terrible things about my husband concerning women. Later, he wanted to interview me towards my husband’s 50^th birthday, I said, ‘since you know the girlfriends of my husband, you can go and interview one of them,’ and he was shocked.

Has there been anytime that you feel bad about some of the things they write about him?

Well, initially, I felt bad, but after some time, I became immune to them because they were becoming too much. Most of the times, I call him and tell him on the phone before he gets home. Recently, it was written in a blog site that somebody had a baby boy for him, I called him and said ‘congratulations to us, we should now celebrate the arrival of a baby boy,’ and that it is an addition to the family. He just said that I should leave them that those people are not serious, I will not kill myself because of that, I am over 50 years of age now.

Are you not afraid that your husband could practice polygamy someday as a Muslim?

If he has not been a polygamist in 30 years, is it now that he would be thinking about that. I have been married to him for 30 years, will he do that in his old age.

I am surprised that you are 50 years old because you don’t look it, what is your beauty regimen?  

It has been the grace of God; I really don’t have a beauty routine. Actually, I was fatter than I am now two years ago, I was size 16, now I am 12. I made up my mind that I had to watch what I put into my mouth about two years before my 50^th birthday, most especially, when you are approaching menopause as a woman. Don’t think there is no problem because there might be problems. I cut down my eating, I eat little food, and people have called me in several places to talk about nutrition because they could see that it worked for me. Most people might not be able to do some of the things I do, for instance I eat garlic and onions raw everyday. It got to a stage that I became so used to it, how many people can do that? Sometimes, I don’t eat for two days, I just go on warm water, it is those days that I am stronger than even when I eat, you would be stronger and have sound health, you can start with one day.

What is your opinion about women in politics?

We don’t even have enough of them, women are more emotional, it is like something is covering their faces of men. Women see most of the things that men don’t see, and as mothers, that motherly instinct is there. As women, we have the ability to multi-task, men don’t have that. I can be breastfeeding my baby and I would be cooking at the same time. Also, women don’t spend money on the opposite sex like men do. I don’t know why young ladies don’t believe that they could do things on their own instead of depending on men. I don’t like when people say, ‘wife of the speaker,’ who am I, don’t judge me by being the wife of the speaker.

How do you see the local government as a worker there?

It is the closest to the grassroots; I work as Council Manager in Agbado Oke-Odo Local Council Development Area in Lagos here. The CM is the most senior civil servant in the council; we take charge of the council and do administrative works.

SEGUN OLULADE TO THE RESCUE IN EPE: TRADERS SMILE HOME WITH WORKING TOOLS

Politics and politicians in Nigeria have been given many names by members of the public; while some believe that thousands of politicians deceive them to get to power and lord it over them, others have argued that several public office holders have been bringing smiles to the faces of the people through compassionate gestures.

Indeed, when a roll call of those with much love for the masses and their environment is taken, the lawmaker representing Epe Constituency 2 in the Lagos State House of Assembly, Hon. Olusegun Olulade aka Eleniyan, would markedly be part of the list.

Since he got to the Assembly in 2011, the youthful lawmaker has been proving that ‘what is worth doing at all is worth doing well,’ as he has used his office to better the lots of the people of the semi-urban area, who have never had it so good in the past.

To further demonstrate that he is in office to change the status quo and make life meaningful for his people, Hon. Olulade, who is the Chairman, House Committee on Information, Security, Strategy and Publicity, expended millions of naira to empower the traders and artisans in Epe Constituency 2 at an event, which held with pomp and ceremony at Pobo Community Primary School, Poka, Eredo LCDA, Epe on Sunday 31^st August, 2014.

Hon. Olulade practically came to the rescue of hundreds of residents of the sleepy community, some of whom had been groaning over poor economic state, and with the provision of working tools free of charge by the lawmaker, life will definitely not remain the same for the lucky residents.

The excited traders and artisans could not hide their joy as they were presented with tens of sewing machines, hair dryers, grinding machines, popcorn making machines, clippers and deep freezers.

 Other items given out to the cheering residents were vulcanizing machines, bicycles, rain boots, rain coats, flash light, television sets, mobile phones, fumigating machines, food items and cash for the elderly and widows.

Residents, politicians and eminent personalities including the Chairman of the All Progressives Congress (APC) in the state, Hon. Henry Dele Ajomale had defied early morning rain to grace the occasion, which they described as one of its kind in the community.

Female politicians and youths in the area were particularly excited such that they kept interjecting the speeches of the guests and Hon. Segun Olulade with songs of inspiration to eulogize the lawmaker and expressed their love for him ‘for representing us well in the last three years.’

Olulade, who was resplendent in his blue lace sown in ‘agbada’, kept smiling and waving to the cheering crowd, who never failed to reciprocate by chanting ‘Eleniyan’ at short intervals.

In his short, but instructive speech, Olulade said that he has communicated the needs and aspirations of the community through the representation mandate given to him few years back, adding that “I have projected our community (Epe Constituency 2) as a community with enormous economic opportunities, vast land-mass and an investment haven for Lagosians, Nigerians and even people from the Diaspora.”

According to him, “We are here for a Mega Empowerment Programme, it is about empowering over 640 members of the constituency. It is meant to appreciate the people that have done well in voting me into the office. I have 61 communities in the constituency and we have 14 royal fathers. We are giving out over 640 items, and I have the support of my people, democracy is about people. You can see the endorsement of my people and the party. I have done many empowerments in all the communities in Epe Constituency 2 and brought government nearer to them, they are in support of my aspiration for second term in office.”

On how the beneficiaries were selected, Olulade stated that they were chosen through associations such as those of tailors and hairdressers; and that he selected those who have been doing well and who are in one profession or the other.

He made it clear that whatever he was doing for the people was voluntary, and that it was from his savings, and that the government does not give lawmakers money for such projects.

He emphasized that the day was meant for giving back to the people, give glory and honour to God and to re-echo the power of the people in governance.

“That is why I deployed all channels of communication (conventional and modern) for reaching back to the constituents from time to time, which has generated tremendous results. In the last 3 years and 2 months as your representative, I have conveyed quarterly meetings with stakeholders and leaders in every sector till date as a feedback mechanism for ensuring that the entire people of Epe Constituency 2 are well abreast of developments, actions and issues from your House, the Lagos State House of Assembly,” he said with confidence.

Hon. Dele Ajomale, who was the Chairman of the occasion, used the occasion to recognize the efforts of Hon. Segun Olulade in making life better for his people, while he added that the APC would conduct primaries for the forthcoming elections in the state.

He also took a swipe at those, who he said were accusing the party of imposing candidates on them during elections, saying that most of such critics have benefited from the alleged imposition in the past one way or the other.

He stated that the people would be allowed to choose whoever they wanted to contest for political offices, and that anyone that is popular should come out to contest the primaries.

“You can decide the person you want for any position wisely, and I want to advise that the beneficiaries of the gesture of Hon. Olulade should use the materials they are given wisely. What Olulade is doing today is a way of bringing succour to the people of his constituency, the project is worth millions of naira,” he said.

Another guest, who did not hide her support and love for Hon. Olulade, is the wife of the late former governor of Lagos State, Sir. Michael Otedola, Doja.

The octogenarian recalled how the lawmaker came to the rescue of the people, when some houses were about to be demolished in Odo-Iragunshin area of the settlement.

Madam Otedola described Olulade as a true son of the soil, who she said has represented Epe Division properly in his short stay in the Assembly.

“My late husband did his best, members of the APC has been doing their best in the state. I want to advise the beneficiaries of this gesture not to sell the items, Olulade is doing well. I once told some people that we would not support them for another term in office because they did not do well, but Hon. Olulade deserves another term in office, I will campaign and vote for him during the forthcoming elections. He will still go to Abuja to represent us as a good son of Epe Division,” she said.

Testifying to the significance of the gesture, a beneficiary of a hair dryer, Mrs. Omowunmi Seriki, said that ‘Hon. Segun Olulade has done well for us. I am getting hairdressing equipment as a leader of the group in this area and 20 others would benefit from the dryers, so we are grateful to him for this.’

Mr. Femi Ajinde, who got a sewing machine, also thanked the lawmaker for remembering them.

He stressed that the politician has done well for Ejirin, and that ‘I want the people to come out and support Hon. Segun Olulade for second term in office. I have never seen anyone like him before.’

Abosede Omowunmi, another tailor, who got a sewing machine, said; “past lawmakers did not do anything for us, but Segun Olulade has really helped us and we will support him for a second term of office.”

President of Youth Farmers Forum in the area, Mr. Depiver Adesegun, could not hide his joy over the way ‘Hon. Olulade has helped farmers in the area.’

“This is a new development in agriculture in Lagos State. Hon. Olulade knows the plight of the farmers and he has been training us on modern way of practicing agriculture. All the materials he is giving us today would be useful to us and we are thanking him for all that he has done for us. We support his second term ambition. All the youths would support him because we believe he would not forget us when he gets to office,” he said.

Others, who spoke at the event unanimously agreed that ‘Segun Oluade has done his best for the people of Epe Constituency 2,’ while promising that they would join hands in supporting him for a second term in office.

Some other guests at the event included the Special Adviser to Governor Babatunde Raji Fashola of the state on Political Affairs and Legislative Matters, Hon. Muslim Folami, who represented the Governor, wife of the Speaker of the Lagos State House of Assembly, Rt. (Hon.) Adeyemi Ikuforiji, Mayowa, who represented her husband, Vice Chancellor of the Lagos State University, Professor Johan Oladapo Fafunwa, Chairmen of Epe LG and Eredo LCDA, party leaders, royal fathers amongst others.

One thing that was clear at the august gathering was the fact that Hon. Segun Olulade has done a good job and with the way he was surrounded by the people at the event, it was obvious that winning a second term of office would not be a difficult task for the people’s ‘Eleniyan.’